In Her Quiet Corner

My Blog

  • Welcome to Her Quiet Corner

    Welcome to Her Quiet Corner

    I’m 23, and most days, I feel like I’m still learning how to be a person.

    This space was born out of that feeling – of being in between who I was and who I’m becoming. I wanted a place to write about the strange, beautiful, and sometimes heartbreaking process of growing up. The kind of space I wish I had when everything felt a little uncertain but full of possibility.

    This journey is also for me. I’ve spent a long time living for other people, trying to be who I thought I was supposed to be, saying yes when I wanted to say no, letting fear and anxiety keep me small. But lately, I’ve started to feel something shift. I’m learning to take my power back, to make choices that feel like mine, and to trust myself again.

    I’m finally starting to try new things – not for anyone, but because they make me feel like myself again.. I’m allowing myself to want more, to dream, to take up space, to fail, to start over, and to try again. For the first time, I’m doing things that make me happy for me.

    There’s still fear. There’s still anxiety. But I don’t want to let them decide what my life looks like anymore. I’m learning that courage doesn’t always mean feeling brave, sometimes it’s just showing up anyway.

    Here, I’ll be writing about what it’s like to navigate your 20s,  the lessons, the unlearning, the heartbreaks that teach you who you are, and the quiet moments that remind you you’re healing, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

    This isn’t a space for perfect answers or polished advice. It’s more like a small corner to pause, reflect, and feel less alone in the process.

    If you’ve ever felt lost, in transition, or unsure of where you’re headed, welcome. You’re in good company here.

    Let’s figure it out together.

    Julia Bouwman

  • 10 Things I Learned in 2025

    10 Things I Learned in 2025

    2025 was the kind of year that doesn’t shout its importance until you’re already on the other side of it. The kind that changes you quietly. The kind of year that teaches you lessons the hard way. Nothing exploded. Nothing dramatically collapsed.

    But almost everything shifted.

    Here are ten things 2025 taught me slowly, repeatedly, sometimes gently, sometimes not.

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    Julia Bouwman

  • Let the Shedding Happen

    Let the Shedding Happen

    In your 20s, you will outgrow people, jobs, and even versions of yourself. It is very important you let the shedding happen.

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    Julia Bouwman

  • The You Who Survives This

    The You Who Survives This

    You lose nothing when you walk away from someone who treats you like you’re nothing.

    I wish someone had told me that earlier, not in the cute, motivational way people post online, but in the real, gut-deep way that only makes sense after you’ve lived through it. After you’ve given too many chances. After you’ve apologized for things that weren’t yours to carry. After you’ve been the only one fighting for something the other person never even bothered to show up to.

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    Julia Bouwman

  • Stop Being Scared of Being Disliked by Losers

    Stop Being Scared of Being Disliked by Losers

    I used to bend myself in ways that hurt just to be liked by people who didn’t even like themselves. I made myself smaller so I wouldn’t make anyone else uncomfortable. I softened my voice, laughed when it wasn’t funny, said “it’s fine” when it wasn’t, all so no one would call me “too much.”

    But I was never too much. They were too little.

    Too little to understand me, to face their own reflection without needing someone else to feel small first.

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    Julia Bouwman

  • Stop Running From Yourself

    Stop Running From Yourself

    At some point, you have to stop running. From your past. From your patterns. From the version of you you’ve spent years trying to outgrow but never actually faced. 

    We all do it. We distract ourselves, stay busy, cling to noise, anything to avoid sitting alone with the truth. Silence can be terrifying when you don’t like the person it introduces you to. 

    But running won’t save you. It only keeps you tired. 

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    Julia Bouwman

  • Growth Often Looks Like Loss (Let It Happen)

    Growth Often Looks Like Loss (Let It Happen)

    Growth doesn’t always feel like blooming. Most of the time, it feels like breaking.

    No one really tells you that – that the process of becoming who you’re meant to be often means saying goodbye to versions of yourself that once felt safe. Growth 100% of the time looks like loss. You will shed pieces of who you were to become who you’re supposed to be. And it’s your job to let it happen.

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    Julia Bouwman

  • You Can’t Hate Yourself Into Growing

    You Can’t Hate Yourself Into Growing

    For as long as I can remember, I’ve been at war with myself.

    I learned how to hate my body before I ever really learned how to love it. I remember staring at my reflection in the mirror as a kid tugging at my shirt, sucking in my stomach, wishing my thighs didn’t touch. I hated my belly. I hated my “big” thighs. I hated my chubby cheeks.

    At dance class, I’d look around at the other girls and think, Why don’t I look like them? I’d notice how their leotards sat perfectly flat, how their legs looked longer, how they seemed so effortlessly confident. I wanted to disappear into myself, to trade places with anyone who felt comfortable in their own skin.

    And it didn’t stop there.

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    Julia Bouwman